so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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