You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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