My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love you. Go after that dick
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
