Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
