my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
