i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
