Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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