I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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