therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize