Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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