I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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