Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize