Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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