I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
