i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
