The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize