You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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