I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
