It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
