Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize