I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
