you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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