cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
