I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hippo gnu deer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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