her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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