call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
