She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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