Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
