What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
