Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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