Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
