Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
