The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
