I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize