So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
