so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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