my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
