So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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