he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize