well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize