Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
third nipple confirmed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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