Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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