Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize