I like my sex mixed with concussions.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
