he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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