Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
