Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
A bitchslap is in order.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
