I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
