i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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