so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
