he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
