it was like his penis was on wheels.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize