I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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