You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
