i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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